Getting grounded in a new space.

My hubby Mark and I have gotten ourselves settled into our new home here in Los Angeles. It's beautiful. We hung some of our last pieces of art yesterday and have our "storage" closet (one of four huge walk-in closets in the apartment) is the only thing left to organize and then we're officially moved in!! The house is huge and we're both still enjoying expanding into the space (which is three times bigger than the apartment we came from in SF). I have a special gift for settting up spaces and LOVE decorating and organizing so it's been fun. We even got to buy some awesome new furniture because this apartment had two full rooms we didn't have any furniture to fill.

For the first time ever I have an ENTIRE room in the house that's MY OFFICE. Back in SF I rented a separate office space that I loved, but it's nice to have my commute be about 30 feet down the hall now. In our San Francisco apartment, if I wanted to work at home, I used a little 4X4 foot closet space that I converted to a work space. Now I have big 13X11 foot room, including a 6X4 foot walk-in closet that's dedicated to my work.

Getting grounded in a new work and living space takes time. I've been doing a lot of energy work and visualizations to move out energy from the old occupants of this apartment and claim "energetic ownership." (Apparently the woman who lived here before is the sister of Heidi Fleiss (the infamous Hollywood madam).

Heidi is a great example of a woman who has taken a major downfall and turned it into a windfall. Since being arrested and spending three years in jail, she's made a killing on book deals and licensing the rights to her story for film and tv. She's currently doing a reality documentary with HBO covering the start-up of Heidi's Stud Farm in Nevada where prostitution is more legal and regulated. The Stud Farm is a luxury brothel for women (i.e. the men are for hire) -- fucking brilliant if you ask me. Anyway, I'm not sure who her sister is that lived here or what her situation is, but there was some pretty nutz'so energy left behind in this apartment that I've had to expel.

I've begun connecting with some good resources health-wise. I am trying to let go of the idea that my support team needs to look exactly like the people I had in SF. I have to say I'm finding myself feeling sad and crying a lot when I'm alone. I miss my teachers, mentors and bodyworkers so much!

Physically, I'd say things have improved a bit with my MS. I've stayed out of the ER/hospital now for over a month! That's improvement over being in the ER every two weeks in October, November and early December. I'm having a lot of trouble with pain and spasticity from my chest down. It literally feels like I'm wearing a corset that can't be unlaced. It's hard to breath sometimes it's so uncomfortable and painful. There's still also some numbness and spasticity in my legs and feet too that makes it hard to get around sometimes.

We haven't really connected with many "friend" possibilities yet. I feel like both Mark and I are feeling the loss of our community. I'm feeling sad about that a lot. I'm not sure how Mark is feeling. He never cries like I do so his emotions aren't just hanging on his sleeve all the time. Personally, I feel really overwhelmed at the size of LA and feel like I don't really know where to find "like-minded" friends. I'm still unable to drive due to MS symptoms (and even if I could, Mark has dibs on the car and needs it most weekdays) so I'm also struggling with feeling kinda "trapped" in the house a lot. LA is a car-centric city. You can't walk most places you need to go and public transportation is challenging (way more so than San Francisco).

Money wise things are good for us. Mark has continued to get some steady bookings from his SF voice over agent, which is great! He stuck to his guns and manged to get an agreeable contract signed with Microsoft's Tell Me. We're both looking forward to some steady income from that. It took three months to negotiate the contract so it's nice all the effort was worth the energy. No bookings through Mark's new LA agent yet, but we're both trusting that's just taking time.

Income from my business has slowed because of the move. I've helped several San Francisco clients who don't want to do ongoing phone consultations wrap up things. My "active" client list has dropped in half. The little dip in revenue and activity is mainly due to my physical state and fact that I haven't started any networking efforts here in LA yet. I do have two LA clients beginning in the next couple weeks though so that's great. I met both of them at the San Francisco Ladies Who Launch Live event my partner Kate and I appeared at.

Regardless of my temporary slow down, we're keeping up with expenses and even have put some money away to build our savings back up. We pretty much decimated our savings with the move so it feels good to get closer to having a five-figure savings account again.

I've been thinking lately that I'd really like for Mark and I to be operating as a team more -- supporting each other's mutual intentions and being in agreement about what we're wanting to create for ourselves as a couple. I think I'm going to ask one of my favorite mentors back in San Francisco is she would be willing to do couples coaching sessions with us on the phone just to see what happens.

Life changes like making a big move are such a amazing catalysts. I'm really trying to put my energy and intention into expanding into this new space and allow my new environment to help shape the identity for myself and my business -- which is ever evolving. I'm trying to sit in the moments when I feel sad, grieving the community I've left in my old home. Not in a "wallowing way" but in a space of gratitude and appreciate for all of the wonderful friends, partners, clients and healers I attracted in the Bay Area.

It's important for me to feel the grief I'm experiencing right now and express it rather than stuff it down and just "power forward." Powering through things comes naturally to me and I'm very good at it. I know how to make things happen. That's why I was incredibly successful in my corporate advertising career. But I can't exist that way any more. It's too draining on my energy. Instead of forcing things to be and look a certain way, I like to live and work in a space where I'm letting go and letting things come into my life... and then stopping to really appreciate what I'm receiving. It's the cliche "attitude of gratitude" that I mindfully practice now and it works. When I stay in the space of gratitude, more of what I'm appreciating and wanting is magically manifesting daily. This approach is so freeing... and so much more truly powerful than living in "power-through-it mode."

As a nice reminder to myself, I think I'll wrap this up today with some words from Henry David Thoreau that seem to capture the approach I like to practice now.

"Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each."